Hi there! My name is Ana, I’m 19 years old.
So the thing is that I’ve never been in love… Of course it’s different liking people.
I’m a little confuse , I’d like to know different perspectives people have about love.
WHAT IS LOVE?
WHAT DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE?
CAN YOU BE IN LOVE WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT THE SAME TIME?
Thanks,
Ana
PLEASE RECOMMEND
In love is about sexiness, and body hormones jumping (which include the adrenaline rush and natural opiates the human body produces), and the chase of the other person, and the newness of the hoped for or actual relationship. Others already said much of of what I am now saying.
In love is also about imagining a perfect or near perfect situation and relationship with this other person. However, no living human can be in close contact with the person they are in love with without this in love feeling beginning to get tarnished and bruised up. No human can live up to the high expectations that the in love feeling sets up. Perhaps the in love feeling is not even sustainable for most persons. Although, I have seen persons who loved the feeling of being in love and never actually loved a person, and for a long time fell in love and then fell out of love as they got to know the person and fell in love with a different person and fell out of love and just kept on doing this for years or decades.
Loving a person is real work. Love includes a commitment that no matter how I feel at this moment or at some future moment, this relationship and you are important and valuable to me. Love is not just a feeling but it is also a decision. Love is not love without a deep commitment.
Persons will annoy each other and will get on each other’s nerves just by being around each other. The in love feeling will fade away. If the in love feeling is gradually replaced with a real love that is deepening and widening and becoming more mature, then the relationship has a chance of survival. I have heard it said that the in love feeling is trick, that mother nature and biology plays on humans to help make the next generation, because without the euphoria ( intense feel goodness) of being in love, perhaps no one would ever have children. Having children and raising children is so hard that most all sane intelligent adults would just not do it without the in love feeling.
This may be a crude way to put it, but since even porn stars do not spend all their time having sex, there really has to be something more between the two people and not just than sexual attraction and optimistic fantasy about a trouble free life and a perfect partner for love to last.
In love (infatuation or sometimes called a crush) is different than love.
Fer Shure ! Honestly , “hi, I’m 19 Years old in love-giggle, giggle !” … Feasible back when our grandparents and parents feel in love at 18/19 yrs old when it was ” leave it to beaver ” days. Imo. Good to see you hear Missy !!xo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1yrkIiFius
Even though I’m late yesterday,
I still want to see you the next morning
You hurriedly asked me “Are you OK?”
that I’m a little exaggerated
but you just laughed
and said Don’t worry too much, I’m fine!
The nature is so serious
that your afraid to lose but
I love you
so don’t ever forget this
Oh baby
“Welcome home” is what you told anytime you open the door
I’m always waiting for you to come in this palce
so when my tears dropped
you just gave me kiss & hug because
today I’m so happy that
where always under the sky
in this world. Even where we are
your still in me
Even if you have
anything that I don’t have
I suddenly feel alone and So lonely
It’s really true that I’m so exaggerated
but you are the most amazing one
I can’t imagined much more without you
just like you words
that so not good but still
Thank You
just I’m so eager to say that
Oh baby
“Welcome Home” when you opened the door
You’re always waiting for me with a smile
so when my tears dropped
you just kiss & hug me because
tomorrow we can walk now
with my heart always
in your heart because
you’re always be here
Sudden pouring of rain
you gently cover me with umbrella
You just wrap & embrace me so warmly
that’s why I want also to shine you
just like a sun
that smiling
Oh baby
“Welcome Home” when I opened this door
happiness is waiting for us
If the time comes when smile turn to tears,
I’ll just share you my kiss & hug
from today and tomorrow
you have me because
I’ll come back for you
I’ll be here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOb172nPB2E
Love is initially passive emotional chemistry. Also easily confused with lust and the thrill of newness. But eventually the passive emotional chemistry fades…and it evolves as something that has to be actively worked on, not just with emotional compatibility…but also in values, life goals, faith, money, work, and knowing it’s a marathon and not a sprint, with ups and downs.
No, I don’t believe one can truly be in love with multiple people at the same time. Because it takes a serious investment of time to find and develop real love, precluding multi-tasking here. Serial loves are possible, even necessary, as people lose loved ones for various reasons.
I’ve one main advice for a 19 year old impressionable girl like you: don’t make life decisions about love so early. Again, it’s easy to confuse easy passive romance with the real thing. You need maturity and experience to make the best decisions.
Give yourself a chance here, not throwing away education, work, and life experience too early. Have a financial base, so that you’re never financially beholden to anybody. The truest love is when it’s given with full independence and self reliance.
I as a guy didn’t get to such a place until I was in my later 20s. I recognized I was a clown and not precocious. And I of course made some really dumb romantic decisions!
😉
Best of luck.
it’s all over the board…a roll of the dice…I got married at 20…to an older woman…24….but my actions and personality seemed older…it’s a mish mash of emotion and blending of two souls…and it’s not all wine and roses, you are still an individual and will express yourself as such occasionally…
True. I eventually came to understand all this. One of my main points of decision: the good times must outnumber the bad times.
Cliched as it sounds, I made sure my wife and I could be good friends. The chemistry of love and good sex wasn’t enough, as I painfully learned earlier.
Being in love is a distant memory for me.
Does it have to be? You can always find love. Or pursue it, living a lot of cool adventures.
finding the one person on earth you want to annoy for the rest of your life….that’s love…xD
Don’t underestimate how the well placed nagging, annoyance, and badgering of a wife can evolve a man’s ability to BS to perfection! My career has advanced markedly, as corporate life is a baby deer compared to the grizzly bear ferocity I face in marital interludes.
😂
It feels like coming home. Seeing them is like breathing.. For me.
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not in love or it doesn’t feel like it does for you.
Yes, you can be I love more than once and with more than one at 19.
I was in love once it was great. I still love him but he stopped loving me. At first it hurt and I cried a lot.
We are still friends and talk all the time. He is really happy with his new girlfriend. I am glad he is happy.
Hi Sarah,
It’s good to have you in our community.
Welcome to our site.
And it is great for being friends with ex. I think it even lessen the pain from the breakup.
And you are such a big heart for being glad that he is happy. It’s good for you.
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Hello there SW,
You are supposed to be our VIP community member but sadly you have deleted 37 comments from just this thread and that is really not good for the site.
Comment deletion is on our Site Rules, you may check that out if you like.
We will have to temporary ban you for this.
FYI.
@disqus_RnsPZaSErH:disqus
We’ve all been there. But that’s the risk of love: a failed relationship hurts.
Still, it’s better to risk and learn. You can and will move on. It’s a matter of time and determination.
5 characteristics of LOVE
https://carlossp1.wordpress.com/2017/07/05/5-characteristics-of-love/
https://carlossp1.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/macacos.jpg
Lust at 19 y/o sure, certainly not Love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NE49NdNnBxA
At 19 it can be intoxicating, about the same age I was when I fell hopelessly head over heals for the most beautiful girl I have ever know, now MANY years later after breaking up with her I still think fondly of Rose. I also dodged a bullet, she bankrupted a number of rich guys later in life…
I love….lamp.
I poster my comment. I don’t know what happened to it.
I’ve been in love begore. I felt as if I could be my self around him. His name was Gary. He worked in the security department on my ranch. Begore that it was the maintenance department. We worked well together. He had 3 diggerent kinds of smells. A clean smell, a working smell, and a working hard smell. I got use to it. He was real good looking. I wish I had said that I love you to him, but I didn’t in so many words. He left the ranch, and me when he couldn’t take the job any more. When he left it felt as if he had died, and fell off the face of the Earth. I think of him now, and then.
Instead of festeringd& dwelling look him up & send a non- chalant cheery note. Perhaps he sensed a chemistry as well, (guys aren’t ignorant ); lest he didn’t take advantage of “fun” & You on the workclock.
Gals and their smells, always a sign they are interested
Sad story
Hope you hugged him
I hugged him all the time.
I was hugging a girl today, tbh been bugging her recently lol, anyway she’s got a bf (not shocking, cute gal), she had introduced herself initially, as I was walking away from a class.
Pardon the not transparent brag, but get nice attention often, little ad work even, don’t think it’s a big deal, luck whatever
So hugging a gal (taken) isn’t really unusual, always a gentleman too please
But me mind is that is a great sign that they like you, so just give and take the hugs and nice feelings as they come, freely
Pardon the book, hope you understand, thank you for listening
I’m an intervert, and I don’t like beeing touched too much. All though a hug once in a while is nice. If someone reaches out to give me a hug then I will hug them back. The women in my church like giving hugs. So I will hug them back.
Hmmm let me ask me wife what I think about this subject hee hee
hello Ana nice to meet you , i admire your courage to write about love , i know this sounds bad of me to say this but i know what it feels to love someone but i CANT love just one person only its hard to explain like it might be like i always want more than one of something like for example i want to have more than 1 car to drive
I respect your view, but disagree. Having multiple people, so called polyamory, is not real love. I call them arrangements.
The decisive proof for me is simple societal history. Societies anchored by serially monogamous relationships outcompete those based on alternate arrangements. The former are evolutionary winners…producing fitter, stronger, and smarter children, organization, and societies.
Don’t get me wrong. To each their own. You have to do what is right for you. I’m just relating what I know from academic and personal experience.
Finally, a car isn’t my metaphor. Mine is that every person is a universe. To fully know that universe, you commit to knowing it. Just my 2 cents.
well nearly all my lover IM the only one THEY sleep with i like to keep it that way except one girl ( im bisexual) im intimate with her sometimes even when shes married and is a mother
It’s all good. Like I said, everyone can and should choose their own path.
I just happen to be wired for monogamy. Must also be part of that Catholic upbringing. But damn do I like to look!
😉
Xxx
Xxx
Miss Anna, I suspect what you are talking about is what we Southerners call having “the hots” for somebody, which is where you obsess over that person, and think you can’t live without them. While it is certainly important to find somebody we are physically attracted to–especially when we are young–this kind of love is deaf, dumb, and blind. This type of love is no doubt a major reason for divorce. When the heat wears off, both people find out they are married to somebody they don’t know–or even like.
Having been happily married for almost twenty years, I really think the secret to a happy marriage is more about liking each other than loving each other. Once that sexual heat begins to die back–and it will–if you don’t like each other, the most we can hope for is combat pay, because our relationships will become combat zones.
Bottom line: We need to go into our relationships with both eyes wide open, which means choosing somebody we both like and are physically attracted to. So, if you’ve never had “the hots” for a fellow, count your blessings. You’ll be far ahead when you can enter a relationship with both eyes wide open.
being wed for 40 plus years I concur with your view
being wed for 40 plus years I concur with your view
🎔 “If you haven’t contemplated murder … you ain’t been in love …”
https://youtu.be/Pa8aOJ5MFmg
🎔 Love is a poem set to music ….
https://youtu.be/JX9cA25-lU8